Many people put extensive pressure on themselves to sleep a certain way, at a certain time, with or without certain people. But when we look at world history, our own personal history, and cultures across the world today, we see that there are very few firm “shoulds,” and we can rework patterns and habits that are not serving us.
Discovering a partner’s infidelity can shake your entire sense of security and identity. If you’re feeling confusion, anger, sadness, or numbness, all of those feelings are valid. Healing and moving forward after infidelity is possible, but it takes time, support, and gentle honesty with yourself....
Dear Upward, My days are crammed with work, kids, and responsibilities. By the time I fall into bed it's late, and I'm up again before sunrise. On rare weekends when I could sleep in, my body refuses. I see two options: (1) wake up naturally and hope to drift back to sleep a few times, or (2) knock myself out with sleep meds or herbal remedies. Which path actually helps my body recover? What's worse for my health: too little sleep or too much medication? —Running on Empty
Dear Upward, I read all the time about sexless marriages, and I am wondering--how can I get one of those? I'm a 40-year-old woman, married, two kids, working full-time. My husband and I were deeply in love, but life is now an endless cycle of stress and busyness. He works hard at his job, but at home, I feel like I’m doing everything. I repeatedly ask for help with household tasks, only for him to complain or do a mediocre job. As I’m finally winding down for the night, he often tries to initiate sex. I’ve asked him to stop doing this, but he still does, and I usually end up having sex with him to keep the peace. But I'm truly not into it with him anymore. Most nights, I want to get sex over with so I can have some time to myself before I fall asleep. I don’t want to leave my husband and disrupt our children’s lives, but I’m unhappy. My husband is unlikely to change, at least not without a lot of complaining and conflict. What should I do? Sincerely, Unhappy in Birmingham