Understanding and Supporting Autistic Children: The Hidden Struggles of Masking

Imagine this: Samantha is a bright 10-year-old girl diagnosed with autism, living in Huntsville, Alabama, with her mother and younger sister. At school, Samantha appears to manage her day well, but when she returns home, everything seems to unravel. Overwhelmed and withdrawn, she often avoids discussing her day and may shut down emotionally. Her mother notices Samantha's fidgeting and skin-picking at home, but when she inquires with Samantha’s teachers, they report that she is doing just fine in class. What could be happening beneath the surface?

One possible explanation for Samantha’s behavior is a phenomenon known as "masking." This involves individuals suppressing or concealing their autistic traits to fit in with their neurotypical peers — a process often referred to as “social camouflaging.” Masking is especially prevalent among women and girls on the autism spectrum, particularly those with strong communication skills. While some may engage in masking consciously, others may do so unconsciously, adopting these behaviors over time as they strive for acceptance in social settings.

As children become more aware of their social environment, they may begin to mimic the behaviors of their peers, analyzing what is considered socially acceptable. This can lead to a pattern where they consciously or unconsciously cover up their autistic traits, resulting in a feeling of relief when they are in more comfortable and accommodating environments, such as home.

Signs of Masking in Autistic Children

So, what does masking look like? Many autistic individuals engage in behaviors that may not come naturally to them, such as:

• Mimicking Facial Expressions: Attempting to mirror the emotions of others, even if it doesn’t feel genuine.
• Eye Contact: Forcing themselves to make or monitor eye contact during conversations.
• Social Scripts: Preparing scripts in advance for interactions to navigate social situations smoothly.
• Suppressing Interests: Avoiding discussions about their passions due to fear of being perceived as “strange.”
• Avoiding Sensory Accommodations: Not using helpful tools like noise-canceling headphones that might draw attention.
• Stimming: Suppressing self-stimulatory behaviors or opting for less noticeable forms of stimming, such as fidgeting with a pen or twirling their hair.

Many autistic individuals describe masking as a necessary survival strategy, allowing them to navigate a world that often feels unwelcoming. However, this behavior can lead to significant mental health challenges, culminating in what is termed “autistic burnout.” Symptoms of burnout can include chronic exhaustion, impaired social and cognitive functioning, a diminished sense of self, low self-esteem, and increased sensitivity to sensory stimuli.

Recognizing Autistic Burnout

If your child appears more fatigued, withdrawn, or irritable after school, they may be experiencing autistic burnout due to the effort of masking. Here are some practical suggestions to support them:

• Encourage Downtime: Provide opportunities for your child to have breaks where social demands are minimized. This might include time alone in their room or quiet activities together, allowing for peaceful coexistence without pressure.
• Support Their Interests: Allow your child to engage in their focused interests, irrespective of societal perceptions of these interests. This can foster a sense of identity and joy.
• Promote Stimming: Encourage your child to engage in stimming behaviors that help them regulate their emotions. As long as these behaviors are safe (e.g., avoiding harmful actions like head-banging), they should be welcomed.
• Create a Calm Environment: Offer sensory accommodations, such as a designated “calm-down corner” with low lighting, reduced noise, and sensory tools like fidgets, weighted blankets, or soothing scents.
• Teach Coping Strategies: Help your child recognize signs of autistic burnout and implement coping strategies. This can include setting boundaries, asking for assistance, or taking necessary breaks, particularly in school settings where these strategies can be part of their Individualized Education Program (IEP).

Seeking Support: A Step Toward Acceptance

At Upward Behavioral Health, we understand that “taking off the mask” isn’t as straightforward as it sounds. The patterns of behavior adopted through masking can become deeply ingrained, making it challenging for individuals to feel safe in unmasking and embracing their authentic selves. We are committed to supporting autistic individuals and their families in navigating these complex issues.

As we work toward a more inclusive society, it’s essential to emphasize that acceptance goes beyond mere awareness of autism. It requires a genuine understanding of the unique experiences and challenges faced by autistic individuals. By fostering an environment that values authenticity and self-acceptance, we can help reduce the pressure to conform and allow autistic individuals to thrive.

By shedding light on the hidden struggles of masking and autistic burnout, we hope to empower families in Alabama and Mississippi to recognize these challenges in their children and provide the necessary support. Together, we can work towards a future that celebrates neurodiversity and embraces autistic individuals for who they are.